The most question I get asked on a daily basis, “When do you find the time?”
I walk into my local writer’s group and the first thing they ask, “You amaze me with all you do. Where do you find the time?”
My answer: HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT?
I admit I’m not a normal writer. I have a day job, I have three teenage boys who play every single sport imaginable, I have a husband, I have two dogs….I’ve heard it all. But it all boils down to HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT?
I write at my son’s football game…tell me HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT?
I write at my son’s baseball game….HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT?
I write on vacation….HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT?
I write during my son’s lacrosse practice in my van….HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT?
Every afternoon, for three years, I would pick my kids up from school. I was in car line for over two hours. Those two hours were spent writing my novels. A young girl at my son’s school came up to me last week at his 7th grade basketball game and said, “Mrs. Kappes, I remember walking to recess in fifth grade and asking Jack what you were doing in your van. He said you were writing. I think that’s so cool.”
Cool? Obsessive? HOW BAD DID I WANT IT? BAD!
Every Sunday I schedule my tweets for the week, fifteen minutes apart using Socialoomph.com. It’s free and it takes a little time, but it looks like I’m on twitter. When I get home at night, it takes me a couple minutes to go in and type TY (thank you) to people who have mentioned me that day. Guess what? Those people get a scheduled tweet during #WW or #FF.
I get up in the morning before everyone in my house (5 am), grab a cup of coffee, hit all the blogs I follow, and put a status up on facebook. Usually a quote to start everyone’s day off. When I get home at night, while making dinner, I will post a new status for the evening.
After dinner and a little love to the family ( I cook dinner every night!), I get in at least two hours of writing (either in the car or during a sports game).
Again. . .I ask you. . .HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT?
The video I shared is not about basketball. Listen to the words. Watch the images of the NBA basketball players during this lock-out. YES! This video was made recently. But look at them. They get up and train as if they are playing ball. HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT?
Every morning my son gets up and watches this video. His basketball trainer, who also train some really well known Cleveland Cavalier players and one former one in particular who is in the video, showed my son this video and asked my son, “Jack, how bad do you want it?”
I don’t ever want you to ask me how I do it. I don’t ever want you to forget this video. My question to you is HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT?
How bad do you want it? Is the very same question that I ask myself as a working mother of four children. Answer- I want it!!! Like you, I carry paper, my computer, printed out chapters- whatever is writing related with me at all times. Then in a moment of “downtime”- carpool, practice, etc I can get in some writing related work (editing, creating new pages- whatever). I too get up about 4:30 to 5:00 am every day- to try to get everything in that I can. Great post Tonya!!
Lois Lavrisa
GREAT, Lois!! I know you want it bad! But sometimes we have to remind ourselves about the journey we have embarked on and realize it’s not about the social networking, conferences, meetings, online classes, classes, marketing and promoting. It’s about how bad do you want it…..write, write, write and finding that time is there, you just have to want it bad enough!
Lois, I think we have the same life.
Tonya, great answer! I am going to use this from now on.
How bad do I want it?
Great post Tonya – you put us to shame!
Note to self: I MUST be more disciplined!
And thanks for some great tips like socialoomph etc.
Saffina! I have a hard time believing you aren’t disciplined!!! It’s about making the most of your time to achieve what you want. We can talk about being a writer all day long, but it takes something else entirely to want it so bad that we will manage that time.
Perfectly said right here, Super T:
It’s about making the most of your time to achieve what you want. We can talk about being a writer all day long, but it takes something else entirely to want it so bad that we will manage that time.
If you want it bad enough, you do more than “Talk the Talk”…”You Walk the Walk” too!!!
Wow, 5am? Nah, not “that” bad…. But I do take either a paper notepad or my netbook everywhere with me and I sit and write while waiting for my kids at rugby, brownies, scouts. I write while they’re at school, after they’re in bed.
Hootsuite for twitter scheduling, and that also schedules some facebook activity for me too.
But enough of that, thanks for a great post and now I need another few hundred words on my latest project.
What’s your twitter id?
Good luck with your few hundred words, Sarah! I’m so glad to see you make the most of your time.
Connect on twitter: tonyakappes11
When I was at work, I used to write during my lunch hour. It made work seem more capable to me as I got the chance to go into another world during the day. Now that I am at home full-time and have started self-publishing, how bad do I want it? V bad. So I try and write a bit each day, and do promo for my current ebook out there, called The Railway Angel.
Hi, Julie! I still have that day job! As a matter of fact, I had to go to a meeting all day yesterday and it was BORING!!! SO I made sure I printed off twenty pages of my current WIP and I finished editing it! I have no clue what the big meeting was about…..I dream of staying home to write!
*giggles* I’ve sketched clothing for my charcters durring meetings too. Glad to know i”m not the only one who ‘misbehaves’ at meeting, the strange thing about the scketing is I tend to remember what was said by lookinga tthe sketches, for a while after. :}
I think my wanting is upping itself. At the start of November, though I was on a mommy vacation (aka visitng my mom sans kids) I woke up at 5:30 am to write. Sadly my body rebels when I don’t give it enough sleep and now I’m sick and and can barely get up at 7 am. *Sigh*
At work I can write during breaks and lunch time because I’m a “desk nurse” these days – and almost retired. Recently on a plane trip to see my daughter, another writer, I was writing furiously in a notebook. A flight attendant was coming down the aisle to pick up empty cups. Usually they wait for you to hand the cup to them. I hardly noticed when she just picked mine up.
Great blog and so true.
Thanks,
Mitzi
Mitzi, I get so much done on airplanes! I get into this crazy zone and go to town. The same with my van. I have a blanket, push the seat down, and write away. Since I don’t pick up from school anymore, I’ve been know to get in my van, drive to a local parking lot and write for two hours. Crazy….but it works! I want it bad!!
That’s what it’s all about, Super T…asking yourself HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT…then finding a way to make it happen!
Two years ago, when I still had a full-time (plus tons of overtime too) day-job, I would get up between 3 and 3:30 every morning to write before I went into work at 6 AM. I would come straight home from work (between 3:30 – 6 PM) and be at my computer or writing on a notebook ’til around 8 PM.
I also quit all my philanthropic boards and committees, which I’d spend a huge amount of time attending meetings and events for. ***Some nights I would have back-to-back 4 meetings.***
I did those things – made those life changing choices – because , like you said, when I asked myself HOW BAD DO I WANT IT, the answer was more than the extra sleep and committee chairman/board director gigs. The answer was…more than anything…so I arranged my life accordingly.
It’s really that simple, which makes it that tough too!!!
This is one of the issues we deal with a ton in my Muse Therapy Online Classes…so don’t any of you feel alone in these struggles. Just like Super T said, it’s completely normal to struggle with this…BUT…if you ask yourself HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT, then take steps, like the Time Study I have my Muse Therapy Peeps do, you’ll find ways to fit your writing career into your life…IF…YOU WANT IT BAD ENOUGH…
That’s right, DD! It’s all about HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT!!?? There are so many excuses out there, but it all boils down to HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT!
WOW! Great post, Tonya! And awesome tips in there too!
Thanks, Jessica! Thanks so much for stopping by! I’m sure you have some great tips to add.
Great post Tonya. They say if you want something done ask a busy person. I do what I need to do to achieve my goals. It much harder to do something if you don’t love it, I love it, so it doesn’t seem like work. I also have a life and making time for that gives me the balance I need so I don’t burn out.
I agree, Elizabeth. This week I’ve had quartley meetings at work and not getting home until 3 pm, my phone completely died, family to be fed, dogs to be walked, and we’ve had basketball games every night and if you know anything about sports, we have to be there one hour before the game and homework. It’s been a really BUSY week outside the home and I’ve gotten the most written this week then in the past month!!!
I do love it! I love it so much, I am giving up that sleep to make my dreams come true! Thanks so much for stopping by!
I desperately need to put some of these into my daily schedule. Thanks for a great post!
Stephanie, the smallest things can make the biggest difference in your daily production schedule. Thanks for stopping by!
We used to say, in my former career, “Do what others won’t do for the next 5 years and live how others can’t for the rest of your life.” Same thing applies to writing. We have to do what others can’t, but usually won’t do. At one point, JR Ward said she had written every day, except for 3 days, for 3 years straight.
Very timely post as we chug along with Nano. Some call us crazy!
YES!!! I love that Sharon!! I’m a HUGE Dave Ramsey fan and I’ve always lived by, “Today’s paid off home mortgage is taking place of the BMW as status symbol of choice.” I also live by, “Live like no else so you can live like no one else.” Powerful words!!
***squiggly hugs to you*** So nice to meet another DR fan. We are taking the Financial Peace class right now. Very timely for us. Great foundation.
Doing those tough things is not just discipline, it’s the RIGHT thing to do. I’m so happy you recognized those words.
Oh, Sharon! If you ever get a chance to see him in person~DO!!! He’s amazing!!!
We are crazy, Sharon! LOL!
But the difference is…we each know how to make crazy work FOR us instead of against us!!!
Cheers to that!!!
And I luuuvvv the quote you shared:
“Do what others won’t do for the next 5 years and live how others can’t for the rest of your life.”
Thanks for that!!!
DD, You guys inspire me too. Reaching out to other authors and mentors like your group is part of doing what others don’t take the time to do. I don’t get here as often as I’d like to, but I’m always glad I did.
Fantastic post, Tonya. I can feel all your energy and passion shining right through your words. You’re a great role model — thank you!
Talli, thank you! I do live by these words and I’m very passionate about life….you’ve only got one shot!
Holy crap T! That’s the kind of post that changes lives! POWERFUL!!! In the past couple months my 4am writing time has slipped to 5:00 and then 6:00. You know I WANT IT BAD! Thanks for the kick in the pants.
This quote says it all:
“When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, then you’ll be successful.”
Thanks, Girl!!! I know you live by this! I also know that you’ve been known to edit at the stop sign by your house before you go in from work;) You are living your dream! Congrats on all your recent success and DEALS!! I’m so proud of you! AND I missed you last Saturday!
Wonderful post, Tonya! A great shot of inspirational java! I think every truly dedicated writer knows the meaning of sleep deprivation, and weekends just mean working harder and longer.
Luv the photos of your world with constant WIP in hand!
Thank you Alice!! I hope it inspired people today to look at any part of their life this way! You inspire me with your amazing dance talent and your wonderful husbands acting talent! I’m sure your schedules are as crazy as mine!
You are a writer after my own heart. Awesome blog. You’re an inspiration. My story is much the same, without the sports. My family helped me reach my publication goal by cooking meals, and going to events and reunions without me so I could spend my time not at work writing. I had a position where I could choose to work nights so that my days were quiet to write. I didn’t sleep much, but THAT’S HOW BAD I WANTED IT.
Cheryl, thank you so much. I was hoping that this would inspire everyone as it has inspired me. You can sleep later;) Thanks for stopping by.
Hello friends,
Glad to share that I too am guilty of “WANTING IT BAD”. Yesterday I was working ( painting a house)and talking my current story into the voice recording mode on my phone. Then came home, assisted with homework, cuddled with wifey, then wrote till 1 am.
In all honesty yes, I would like to do nothing but write.
But as long as I keep writing, I’M HAPPY
-Peace
Hi, Steve,
I’ve been known a time or two to speak into my phone while driving….but that is HOW BAD I WANT IT!! Yes, be happy and keep writing.
Great post. You nailed it.
And thanks to you and the other commenters who alerted me to some free tools to help cut down the twitter time.
Is it dedication, or obsession? The downside is that it tends to drive your family crazy. Or at least, mine.
Keep writing!
Scott, there are so many great tools out there that will cut back on those social networking hours upon hours! When I asked my husband if it was my crazy obsession, he was sweet and replied that I can’t help it because it’s in my blood. Great answer~RIGHT!
Great great post!
Thanks for stopping by, Valerie!
Wow, wow, wow! I may have to pass you the Wonder Woman knickers! I think in anything you really want to do in life you have to be really dedicated, and you are Tonya. If you really want something, you have to put in the work to make it happen. And look at the rewards you’re reaping now! You go, girl!
Sibel, if you send the knickers, I want the arm bands too! You are so right, no matter what you want in life, you have to be dedicated. It’s easy to say you are a writer, but to REALLY do it is another type of dedication.
Great post! I am fortunate that I can treat my writing as a full time job (in between my graduate work for my Masters in Professional Writing). Even if I have a day(s) where I’m struggling I always put something to paper. I always have some sort of notebook nearby for ideas, etc.
As I’m also in the midst of launching my second e-novel in December and a sequel in January to my first, I’m quite hungry for success!
Wow, Jamie, you are on a roll. That’s great that you could make writing your full time job. I’m working towards that. I’m a child developmental therapist that use to have 24 kids on my caseload, now 16! I get home at a fairly decent afternoon hours, so really writing is taking over. Eventually I hope to just write all day;) Good luck with your releases!
When I posted on FB to my family and friends that I had completed writing my novel Awaken, I got many responses of people who were shocked. Even though I had been telling them for months that I was writing a book.
I think that in this age of instant gratification, there’s not a lot of follow through. It takes a long time to write a book, especially part time. Most people assumed I would lose interest or give up. But I wanted it bad enough! I still want it bad enough which is why I’m already 15K into my second novel!
I think we are all to be commended for the follow through. We didn’t give up, even when it was hard. We didn’t let life get in the way of our dream. We fought for what was important to us and what we wanted, even against criticism sometimes.
So, Kudos to all on sticking it out and not giving up!
Ditto! Well said, Sarah!!
Thanks, Tonya, for taking us through your day and showing us what you do. You’re right, if you want it badly enough you’ll find a way to accomplish it.
And thanks for the tip of Socialomph.com. I use TweetAdder to do auto tweets, but I’m going to look into SocialOmph, as well, to see which is better.
Thanks for the inspiring video, too!
Hi, Debra. There are so many different websites that you can use for scheduled tweets, but just as long as you do it and free up some time is what matters. I’m so glad you stopped by!
A writer once said to me (Cheryl St.John, I believe) It’s not what you’re willing to give up to get what you want, it’s what you’re willing to do.
Thank you for the wonderfully inspirational post!
Cheryl St. John is a smart woman! Thanks for sharing, Sherri.
I made my DH watch the video. He’s been feeling a little neglected with NaNo in full swing. Now he seems to understand. Yes, I want it bad enough to not watch television anymore. Yes, I want it bad enough that I have an app that lets me write from any computer or ‘device’ that can connect to the internet so I am literally never without my work. Yes, I want it bad enough that I am busier on the weekends than I am during the week. Yes, I want it bad enough that sometimes I am just no damn fun! That I think about the writing and publishing and promoting to the exclusion of almost everything else. And I have never been happier!
L.C., you just put a big smile on my face. I cringe when I hear writers say, “I take the weekend off.” I don’t know a weekend like that. That’s how bad I want it too!
The video is amazing. Did you feel the light pump in your heart afterwards?
You are amazing, L.C. and doing great!
Sometimes I go to whiny town and complain about not having enough time to do one thing or another. Then I read a post like this and remind myself that it’s about MAKING the time.
The bottom line is, we find the time to do the things we want to do. If I can find time to watch my favorite TV show, I can find the time to write for an hour or exercise for thirty minutes–or whatever it is I can’t seem to squeeze into my schedule.
Thanks so much for this post. It’s very inspiring, and so is the video.
Hi, Delaney! Sometimes we do need to go to whiny town, but quickly need to leave. Be sure to keep the video handy and when you stroll into whiny town, stop at the border and make yourself watch the video. I bet you’ll not stroll down whiny town for long!
I want it badly, Tonya … but still marvel at your energy, resolve, and output.
Go, gurl!
Yeah well, this nice and all, but I write everywhere and anytime too but it has nothing to do with a desire for ‘publishing success,’ whatever that means. Some of us just have an obsession for (dedication to?) writing without regard to the potential for any future monetary success. Personally, I couldn’t care less about getting published. All I want to do is write good books. All else is meaningless.
That’s great that you can define what your success is, Jan. That is exactly what this video and post is about. You have to define what you want and ask yourself how bad you want that. I could care less about the money too. I love writing and even if I was not published, I’d never be able to stop writing. Good luck on your journey and thanks for coming by!
Excellent post Tonya. Dedication and discipline.
I love the formula: Preparation + Opportunity = Luck
I work like you, everywhere. I also do a book chart (500 words = one hour of writing) where I can mark off the hours left. And I have a one year and five year goal poster.
Wow, Lisa! That is amazing! You are definitely dedicated to your career! Thanks so much for sharing your chart. That’s really cool.
That is the most encouraging post I’ve read this year, and that’s saying something considering it’s November.
Thanks!
Thank you, Lisa. That really does mean a lot to me. I’m glad you stopped by.
Ah, Tonya, I congratulate you on your vigor, passion, and drive. However, having been in the writing biz one way or another for nigh onto thirty years, I can tell you “IT” is illusive and changes. I’ve seen my byline on national magazines, pushed to place in contests, pushed to win 1st place in contests, gotten THE CALL, won awards. Now in the Indie Author race I was 14 weeks in the top ten of an Amazon Best seller list. HAVE I MADE “IT”???
Compared to Nora, JK, even Amanda Hocking, I don’t think you could say I’ve made “IT.” But once in a while I hit the zone of pure writing satisfaction. The words spin. The characters take off. I get an email from someone who tells me my work affected them in a profound way.
Those are the moments I feel I’ve made “IT.” So, I keep writing and now with Indie publishing somebody, somewhere buys at least one book every day.
By golly, I think I’ve finally made “IT.”
Awesome, Dana. That is exactly what you did. You have to define what it is that you want and then stay dedicated to it. You have made it!
Isn’t great to have just ONE reader by your book each day. Now….I know you sell a ton more than that a day, but think about that. You’ve had a positive influence on at least one person today. That is HOW BAD I WANT IT!
So I’m not the only one who does this!
Before my kids were in school all day (which just started in September), I wrote at the pool, during tae kwon do, while my son was in speech lessons (sometimes in the school and sometimes in my car), waiting in the pickup line, on vacation, riding in the car. Hell, I even left audio notes on my iPhone while I was driving.
I’ve sat on floors, the ground, and uncomfortable preschooler-sized chairs. I’ve typed with gloves on and hidden myself and my laptop under a towel at the pool because it was too bright to see my screen.
Now that I have six hours a day to myself while they’re in school, I look back on those days and wonder how I got anything done. Sometimes I think the pressure to fit writing in was better for my career than the time I spend leisurely writing now.
What a fantastic post!!!!!
Meg, would should start a Mom Van Writer’s Anonymous! Even if I tried to sit in my van and read. . .I couldn’t! So glad we aren’t alone.
I write at the pool too, only long hand b/c I can’t see my screen. I will have to try your towel trick;)
I learned the towel trick from my son who couldn’t see his DS screen while his sister practiced diving. Never underestimate a four-year-old with a strong desire to play his DS.
This post definitely came at the right time. I too have squeezed in writing with my full time job until this week my full time job came to halt and I was laid off. Finding another “day” job is not what I want to do. I want to do my passion (writing) and be able to eat, or at least buy wine:) I want it BAD enough to not let being unemployed scare me but rather be excited at what lies ahead!
Wonderful, Laina!!! You should hear Talli Roland story about how she started writing full time! It’s a hoot and a half. (I’ll try to get her to tell it;)) Anyways, I have a feeling you aren’t going to have to worry at all about that old day job!
Wow Tonya, does Sibel have a spare pair of Wonder Woman knickers for you?
What an inspiration.
Hahahaa! Thanks, Alison. I might still have my Wonder Woman underoos from the late 70′s I might be able to pull out;)
I truly hope that I did touch someone today.
Love this. Feel the burn!
But you’re right, it boils down to the fact that we have all the time in the world to do everything we really want to do. For example right now I really want to screw around on Twitter and read blogs and not write a short story
.
John, we all get sucked in a few times a week. And that’s fine, but remember how bad you want it and don’t get sucked in for long. Thanks for stopping by!
Well said, Tonya.
The point, I like to emphasize is waking up very early in the morning.
I have a friend and if ever she is not to busy with her teacher’s duties, we virtually “meet” at 4 a.m. to write or edit. Every hour we post our progress. That’s so inspiring! And helps to stay on track.
Annemarie, you have a true friend! That is great !! A writing buddy really does help you stay on track.
Outstanding post, Tonya! Thank God for those notepads. I think I caught my best description and dialogue on those little babies while I was walking to work.
Motivation (How bad do you want it!), self-discipline, organization, planning, and focus are all important ingredients. For me, focus is the bugaboo I struggle most with. It’s so easy to get pulled into other things.
Best,
Peter
Writing as AR Silverberry
Hi, Peter! I walk my dogs two miles every day. That lets me write in my head. I use to take my phone with me, now I leave the darn thing at home and let my mind run wild. That is how I came up with this post.
Awesome post! Thank you so much for sharing the video and your journey. Great words to live by.
=)
Casey
Hi, Casey! I’m so glad you liked the video! Thanks for stopping by.
Writing on vacation? Isn’t writing supposed to BE a vacation?
But yes, I remember taking my laptop to Mexico so I could continue with my 15 pages a week OVRWA challenge. I wrote that book in 6 months! The fastest I ever wrote a book.
Wow!, Michele. It’s interesting how goals can really put us on target.
Great post Tonya! I am glad I am not the only one who carries a notebook and scribbles thoughts, ideas, and lines of dialogue down during my son’s baseball, basketball, and soccer games or in the car during idle time. I get a lot of weird looks, but I WANT IT BAD. Now, I just need for everyone to understand HOW BAD I WANT IT!
Hi, James!! I’m currently typing this and printing out the next twenty pages of my WIP so I can take it to my son’s basketball game and work! And would you believe that I’m the LOUDEST cheerleader there! Multi-tasking because that’s HOW BAD I WANT IT!
You are amazingly well organized, Tonya, and now I’m going to steal a few of your ideas to help me get better organized. Thanks for the great post!
Thanks, Sheila. It works for me to help me be successful, and I hope it helps you too!
Great post, Tonya!! Just the extra motivation I needed right now. Will have to look into scheduling things on twitter.
Lis, thanks so much for stopping by!! I’m so glad the post touched you to help motivate you!
You go Tonya. I love the photos of you working on your stories at different events. Now I’m thinking about a series of shots of my computer in the various locations that I end up editing from day to day.
Good stuff, Tonya.
Late to the party.
Brilliant post. It’s all about how bad you want it!
I think you’ve just given me what I need when I need it. Since self-publishing my book in October, I’ve been wondering how I am going to find the time to do everything I need to do, (even though I don’t have a day-job). Your suggestions for organization are very helpful. Thanks. I’m tweeting this.
What a great post and what a great video. You’ve got more teenagers than I do and you still have more books published than I do. It seems I’ve run out of excuses. Thanks, Tonya!