It takes a lot of work, time and constant effort to build an on-line platform, but it only takes a few seconds to ruin it.
One misplaced comment or a biting response to a negative review can go viral, destroying the professional reputation as an author you’ve worked hard to build. As wonderful as the internet is at connecting all of us, it’s also important to remember that everything we say — on Twitter, blog comments, Amazon discussion forums — is out there for public consumption. And even if something doesn’t go viral, it may be enough to turn off that one reader who was once looking forward to your next book . . . and now isn’t.
As independent authors, I believe we need to be even more conscious of being professional. We don’t represent big publishing companies, and we don’t have agents or editors to fall back on. Instead, we have only ourselves and our livelihood. If you owned a clothing shop, you wouldn’t dress the window with hideously coloured garments (hopefully!). Similarly, as writers and business people, we need to make sure that we don’t present ourselves negatively and that we show our best side.
It’s not always easy to do, by any stretch of the imagination. There are times I’ve wanted to hit Twitter crying out against some real humdingers of reviews I’ve received. But I’ve refrained. Why? Well, I believe that once a book is out there, it’s no longer mine. If a consumer has bought it, they have the right to have an opinion (libel or slander aside, of course!). I don’t want to alienate potential readers by showing I don’t respect or appreciate the fact that they purchase my work. If I owned a shop, I wouldn’t berate a customer who walked in unhappy with the goods they purchased; I’d try my best to placate them so they’d come back again.
Many negative attitudes already exist towards independent authors: poor quality work; aggressive, evangelistic attitudes; infighting and jealousy. I wish people could see what I’ve seen here on the WG2E and elsewhere — authors willing to help each other, sharing strategies for success. Sadly, though, some independent authors seem to go that extra mile to prove negative perceptions.
In the indie world, all we have is our work and our reputation. Protect them both carefully!
Wise words that also apply to everyone (in business)!
Thanks, Rickie! Yes, I guess it’s a business concept really, isn’t it? Makes sense for anyone who ‘sells’.
Excellent advice, and I’d also add that building an online platform is far more than saying ‘Buy my book’ (which I’ve seen some Facebookers and Twitterers do ad nauseam!)
Yes, Paula, very true! And interacting with people is much more fun than constantly screaming at them, too.
Excellent post with wise advice. I nearly had one of ‘those’ moments last week, but, phew, I went off and marmalade instead. Made chopping up all those oranges much easier!
Haha! I love it, Chris! Next time, I’m going to do exactly that: chop up oranges! It’s much better than venting spleen all over Twitter. And tastier!
Luuuvvv it!
Let’s chop oranges together!!! Every one grab a tangerine!!! Much more healthy than venting spleen!
That should be one of our new WG2E Mantras!
Well done, Chris and Talli!!!
Haha, I can just picture us all chopping oranges together. Yes, new WG2E mantra: Don’t explode in negativity, just make marmalade!
You need thumbs ups for your comments! What a lovely and delicious twist to making lemonaid from leamons. :}
Great advice that applies to everyone, not just writers
Thank you, Sibel!
Talli what you say is so very true! Thank you for your wise words – yet again.
Thanks, Giselle! And many congrats on all your recent, well deserved success!
Talli, you are right on the mark. Good manners and common sense go far, and are very professional to use in any industry:)
Good manners and common sense do go far! Just being nice and behaving reasonably counts for a lot in any industry. Where some writers go off-track, I think, is when they forget that being an indie writer is also a business.
I think it goes without saying whatever business you are in. I do try to be professional. I have heard that about people going on about buying their book on the social media sites, which is one thing that I don’t do. Only the once, when the ebook comes out, then I leave it.
People going on and on and ooooonnnn about their books is a definite turn-off! I’ve heard something like a 20/80 rule on Twitter – that if 20 percent of your tweets are about you, you should make an effort to RT and interact with other people the other 80 percent. I’m not sure how many people can actually do that, but it’s a good reminder that it shouldn’t all be about us all the time.
Excellent advice. I’ve seen a lot of throw-away comments that have exploded and caused those who made them delete themselves from Facebook and blogs etc.
Marty, I know – it’s so sad when that happens. What really makes me angry is when people turn on each other and make cutting comments when there’s no need. We are all in this together.
Cheers to that, Marty and Talli!
Sound advice. I’ve read and heard about a few public meltdowns. I try to tow the line between being myself and being professional when I comment. Not always so easy!
Theresa, it’s SO not easy! I’ve deleted many a comment that could be perceived as negative. I always try to focus on the positive and to be ‘rationally optimistic’, if one can be such a thing. When all else fails, I just mention wine.
Ha!
Or Pimms…LOL!
Yes indeedy! Or Pimms!
See, this is where it helps to be a guy, and to have carefully crafted a reputation for being drunk and sarcastic. It’s much easier to exceed people’s expectations when they’re low to begin with.
Simon, hahaha! If that’s your brand and it’s working for you… hey, stick with it!
Sign me up for that brand, Simon and Talli! LOL!!!
I very important blog, Talli.
At a relatively small and almost-unknown writers conference many years ago, a well-known women’s fiction author gave a key-note that drug the industry through the mud – editors, publishing houses, agents. We all may have axes to grind but in front of strangers is not the place to do it…in front of a mirror or while sitting on the toilet are the best places. That author had a big down-turn in her career. You never know who’s in the audience and now the “audience” is web-wide.
“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Thumper
Exactly, Mitzi – and on the Internet, the whole publishing world could be listening, including your readers and even potential publishers and agents. Why should yourself in the foot when you don’t need to?
gotta agree, great advice
i know i’ve been sorely tempted to say things about negative comments, esp those that are anonymous – but i have tried to more and more add in that i appreciate the opinion and candor, and sometimes offer a positive alternative
and sometimes it’s just best not to say anything, as several people above have suggested
this was easier for me to do in regard to my paintings and photos, as i can more easily recognize the value and authenticity of differences to visual stimuli -
applying the same to my written work has been a little harder, but getting there
oh, and this is a link to a good article on online meanness i just came across yesterday, i think i’d gotten to it via a link on someone’s posting, but not sure who
http://www.selfpublishingreview.com/blog/2012/01/people-online-are-mean/
best wishes all, really glad to see articles like this, thanks!
Thank you, Adan! Yes, sometimes it is best to keep your mouth firmly clamped shut — no matter how hard it may be. Quite often the poster has made themselves look bad just by posting such negative comments, in my opinion.
An interesting article here in The Week on a related topic: http://theweek.com/article/index/223220/the-evolution-of-gossip-how-dishing-got-dirty
An excellent post, Talli, and very timely.
This is exactly why you’ll always see me respond here on The WG2E, as well as on all my online communities, in a professional way.
I definitely don’t shy away from The Nasty Peeps, but I always respond to nasty comments with straight-on facts, not emotions . I certainly don’t shy away from the confrontation because that’s what cyber bullies and trolls want you to do. And I simply refuse to play the infighting games you referenced.
Now then…here’s a little tip too in how to deal with The Nasty Peeps: I normally refuse to Spam peeps who leave nasty comments (unless, of course, they’re violating the basics of humanity we all deplore). First of all, they look like the asses (and very recognizable asses, even if they do use various screen names to post their responses under). Second, if you can remain professional and just stick to the facts in your replies to them, you gain respect from your readers.
Part of being an Indie Epub Author – because it is a very public career – is learning how to handle the good, the bad, AND the ugly too. It’s sooo easy and such a treat to handle the good. But you learn the most from how you handle the bad and the ugly. And if you can pull it off well, that’s what gains you credibility while also showcasing the asses in all their glory. LOL!!!
Here’s a terrific post from Publetariat too which will help y’all identify the kinds of peeps you sooo want to leave to their own issues:
http://www.publetariat.com/think/authors-field-guide-internet-trolls
Thanks, DD. I love that article – it’s hilarious – and it’s funny when you can recognize certain types of behaviour!
Great post, and indeed, perfect timing! There is so much to say about this topic, but you’ve summed it nicely. I really really wanted to vent at someone’s comments very recently, and I am generally not prone to that sort of behavior but… when they find your button and push it, and push it, and push it, it takes a Herculean feat of willpower not to flame them. But that isn’t why we are here, and there will always be people who know exactly how to infuriate us. If we let them, then they win.
Robert Jordan said it very well in one of the Wheel of Time books. The driver goads the ox, and the ox responds to the goad, ultimately doing exactly what the driver wants him to do.
D.D. has set a great example in several responses to posts that surely brought out her inner Hercules, proving that there really is no profit in responding to the goad. Well done all!
I’m sorry, Greg, I missed your comment earlier when I was going through them. You’re so right – there’s nothing to be gained from letting yourself be goaded. Best thing we can do is take the higher road, as difficult as that is!
It was indeed a Hercules Couple of Days, Greg…LOL!…but what a wonderful learning experience and quality practice time too!
Thanks Bunches for your sweet shout-out.
And I luuuvvv the ox analogy!!!
Let’s just say this ox had been goaded one too many times and is over the moon to be tippin’ the cart!!! LOL!!!
Thanks, D.D. for these tips. And thanks, Talli, for the timely and well-said post.
I guess I’m one of those starry eyed optimists who likes to believe we can all get along. I just don’t understand why some folks have to be mean. After all, cyberspace is huge and there is room for everybody. But I can feel my skin growing thicker by the minute . . .
U betchya, Alicia!
I’ve just seen your comment – sorry, Alicia! And I totally agree. I wish people could get along and support each other’s efforts, too. Sadly, it doesn’t always happen…
Great post and so true Talli, and sometimes you just have to rant and rave to yourself, I am always amazed that people that can be so negative and make it so obvious that they haven’t even read the book will leave a review. One author said someone gave a terrible review for a book of hers that was one star, the problem was, it wasn’t written yet.
Thank goodness for all the support we have from each other. We know how hard this is, and so many make self publishers feel like a red headed step child. I am thankful to be making a living doing what I love.
Elizabeth, yes! We all need to rant and rave, but sometimes it’s best to do it in privacy. And I’m with you – thank goodness for all the supportive writers and people around us!
Wonderful post! I think sometimes it’s easy to forget (as writers) that reviews aren’t for US, to stroke our egos or to point out our fatal flaws (no one has the time, I have far too many flaws), they are for READERS. To give them an idea whether they may enjoy the book, or to point out some things that the reviewer has noticed. Taking offence at a review is like taking offence at the stock market – it might be rubbish, but it’s not really up to you to do anything about it…
Thanks, Jane. I was disabused of that notion re: reviews quite early on!
It’s hard to grow a tough skin, but as a writer you need to. And I like your stock market analogy!
What a timely post! Thanks!
Thanks for dropping by, Jamie.
Sage advice. It’s always good to think before you speak (or tweet).
Yes, that has never been more true than in our super-connected world!
Great post Talli. If there is one thing the internet has done is make our world smaller. We are able to share information, connect with people we would never connect to in a ordinary world. We do have to watch out reputations, not only in the public eye but behind the scenes. Nasty e-mails although are suppose to remain private, can easily go viral by a pissed off and hurt recipient, ruining the reputation of all involved. The problem with the internet once you say it, there is no taking it back. It remains out in cyberspace forever, and on hard drives just as long. Written words I believe are worse then spoken, but they come at you in black and white, and stay there staring you in the face. Spoken words hurt, and do just as much damage, but they seem to dissipate over time. They’re not a constant reminder.
There are times things need to be said, we do disagree, but its how you put into written words is where we need to be careful. As a rule authors don’t respond to negative reviews, it’s simply an opinion of one person, take it for what it’s worth and let it go. It has to be the same with almost everything that appears negative in response to anything you might be involved in the internet. Just let it go out into the universe, because in the end it’s all about karma.
What I hate about the internet it has given free license and a protective wall to be cruel. I doubt face to face the same individual would behave in the same manner. Sending out a cruel e-mail or tweet, or what-have-you, instead of picking up the phone or facing nemesis head on, in my opinion, has created a culture of cowards of the purest form.
Very, very true, Lee. Hiding behind the internet does sometimes bring out the worst in people, simply because they feel they can get away with it. It’s very sad when that happens, and very hurtful. I’m often surprised when people behave like this — I hope eventually, as Internet culture matures, it will change . . . but I’m not sure it will!
“…once a book is out there, it’s no longer mine.”
I’ve got to think some more about that.
I like that concept too, CC!!!
I wish I could take credit for that, but I read it somewhere last year . . . wish I could remember where!
It sure seems like there’s been a string of public melt-downs lately … and not just indie authors, either! Every single time, it makes me just so sad for those involved. #notpretty
I like your line about a finished work not belonging to the author anymore – now it belongs to the reader. Nice! It takes great bravery to be an author, and even more to publish. But we without that last part, our work will never reach the people who do love it. We can’t let our fears stop us from that.
Great post!
Susan, exactly — it takes a lot of courage!
And you’re right: it’s not just indie authors. I do think, though, that indie authors need to be even more careful, given all the negative perceptions that already exist.
Wise words, Talli. Good advice for an aspiring author.
Thank you, lovely G!
I just have to say, I love Thumper! (and his parents, who taught him well)
Stacey, I love Thumper, too! Cheers to Thumper!
It seems to me that Indie Authors are a lot like Motorcycle Riders.
Often portrayed as the bad boys, the reckless and who knows what else, they really aren’t. At least not the majority. Just like in Indie publishing there are those who keep propigating the steriotype. But the reality is, they are a very warm and caring groups of people, willing to let complete strangers (okay mailing list aquantences) stay at their houses. They share how to fix things, just as you all share your experiences and lessons learned.
Yes, I do ride a motorcycle, and I’m married to a motorcycle enthusist. Our two car garage is dedicated to them. :}
So there you have it. Indie Authors aren’t the only ones suffering from misconceptions. And it really is a gosh darn shame!
:} Cathryn
(okay no I’ll go read the comments *giggles*)
Cathryn, I love your comparison! So true! There are sadly people who ‘ruin’ for the rest of us, but the vast majority are caring, rational and professional.
Yeah, I got over the whole motorcyclists are “bad boys” when my parents started the Virginia VFW Riders.
They go riding every weekend they can, run honor guard for funerals of vets, and a few times served as a buffer between the Westboro Church and funerals in Hampton Roads. kinda hard to look at my parents and their friends as “scary” when they get up at 3 AM to send off the troops heading overseas on Saturday morning. Their hardcore is three cups of coffee instead of two. 
Great post, Talli. I live by the rule: ‘If in doubt, take a deep breath and walk away from the keyboard until I’ve had time to calm down’. Sometimes it helps me to write a nasty gram to whoever has left me a nasty review etc then promptly delete it (having had no intention of sending it). To me it’s cathartic to get those words out of my head, make them physical, if you will, then delete them.
I love the idea of writing a nasty gram to the person in question! It might help let go of some of the anger . . . I must try that next time I get riled.
I call my mother in law.
She’s a lot like Clairee in Steel Magnolias. If you don’t have anything nice to say, then just go sit by her! She’ll help you get the venom out and then look at the bright side. And she doesn’t use a computer, so my words can’t be posted and reposted against me at a later date.
An excellent post and so important too. Thanks Talli
Thanks, Pauline! Hope all’s well with you.
Great post, Talli. Golden rule in the sport of boxing. Never let your opponent ‘get inside your head’. And above all do not lose your temper. It’s that way in life. Make your shots count by sticking to your game and not losing control or veering off course.
Yes – very well said, Roy. If we lose our focus by giving into distractions like negative people, it can do us more harm than good!
I don’t know how many times I’ve written a comment on a blog then backspace, backspace, backspace until it’s gone and started over. The angry retort would make me feel good for a few seconds, but the results and backlash would last forever. It may take more effort to reword something into a nice comment instead of a quick mean one, but so worth the time.
So true, Jill! I’ve done the same thing – written a retort, then pressed ‘delete’ until it vanished. It’s just not worth it! I know I’ll get all angsty and anxious, and I have better things to do with my time than worry about how it will be taken. Framing a neutral or positive response is always a better option, in my opinion.
I agree completely. When someone types that tweet or post in anger, they seem to forget that the internet is forever. I have taken books off my to-read list because the author is consistently rude or snarky on the boards I frequent. It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Thanks for the gentle reminder!
~Cate
Cate, I know! I’ve definitely been turned off of authors after reading some of their tweets. It was an important lesson for me to learn.
Very important message, Talli. In the world of day job, professionalism matters. Why would we assume anything else in our writing careers? This is a profession and we must behave as professionals.
Exactly, Louise. We should treat writing every bit as professionally as we would our day job.
It’s also important to restrain our friends who want to leap to our defense, because people will often think (and say so out loud) that the author put them up to it. My reply to friends who want to argue with a negative review is, Well, OK, but before you do, take a hammer and break all your fingers.
That’s what I tell myself too.
We can trust people to read reviews and comments about our books intelligently. When I read reviews, I can tell which reviewers are full of sh*t, which ones are carrying out a vendetta, and which ones just have an axe to grind.
Catherine
Catherine, that’s so true! I’ve seen disastrous examples where friends or agents have jumped in and stirred up the debate even more.
This is such an important subject, Talli. It’s why I strongly urge new writers not to self publish too soon–especially if they’re choosing the indie route only because they’re afraid of agent rejections. Rejections/bad reviews from readers are so much more public and damaging. And of course they’re just as subjective–and often have more to do with the reader than our work. We need to be mature enough to take criticism with grace, no matter how unkind or dimwitted. That means you need to be secure as a writer, which, quite simply, takes time. Becoming a professional writer isn’t just about learning the right way to use a comma. It’s about being secure in yourself.
AMEN, Anne! I think sometimes our brains are wired though we are on different coasts! I can’t remember where I read it, I think Dean Wesley Smith, but I could be wrong. Anyway, the biggest difference between a professional and an amateur is that a professional never defends the writing. The writing must speak for itself. I’ve written bad articles before that sold, good ones that didn’t. I feel that the attitude toward fiction writing is more of a personal nature than non-fiction writing. My point-of-view is that if the characters are like real people to us, and I get that they are, then it’s not OUR fault they made stupid, contrived decisions.
The person who knows the proper way to use a comma is a copy editor. The person who writes a story and let’s it stand on it’s own two feet is the author.
Elizabeth, you’re so right! Fiction is a highly personal thing. I’ve read books I really didn’t enjoy but had hundreds of rave reviews. You can’t please everyone, and you shouldn’t try! It’s a hard lesson to learn.
Ann, very very well said. It takes a lot to be secure and to realise that a bad review does not mean you’re a bad writer! Being confident in your working and letting it stand is so hard to do.
Good article, good site. You would think that it should be obvious that attack and criticism can only have negative effects. Multiply that by the gazillion internet users and you might have a problem!
Talli, I think you brought up a super topic here. As well as flying off the handle on social networks and blogs, we need to know to step away from bad reviews with dignity! I’m writing a post on how to deal with negative reviews right now. One thing my husband has done has replied to each review on Amazon (the positive ones too) in a calm and constructive manner. Of course he’s writing non-fiction so it might be a different kettle of fish. But what are your thoughts on that approach?
“Years ago my mother used to say to me, she’d say, “In this world, Elwood, you must be” – she always called me Elwood – “In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.” Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant.”
–Elwood P. Dowd (played by Jimmy Stewart)
Harvey
screenplay by Mary Chase and Oscar Brodney
based on Chase’s play
Brilliant post! There are far too many people on the Internet who think the issues mentioned above do not apply to them because they’re already a best selling novelist. You should ALWAYS be polite and respectful to everyone you meet whether they deserve it or not, and if that’s the case don’t say anything to them at all. That’s how to be professional
This is so true. I’ve likened putting your stories ‘out there’ to dancing naked on a street corner. It makes you very vulnerable and getting defensive is a natural response. But it is not a pretty one. I have watched several authors have very bad reactions to reviews that were even mildly critical and it just didn’t end up making them look good at all. Sadly they are just hurting their own reputation and themselves in the long run.
I have a good writing friend (Thanks B!) and she is my place to vent and I hers. We rant and rave and stomp to each other. We talk each other down from the ledge. We commiserate and offer a shoulder to cry on. Then we remind each other to take the high road, sometimes we read each other’s responses to criticism or help decide if a response is appropriate.
Then we dust ourselves off, having gotten it all out of our systems, and put on our professional face to the rest of the world. That has saved me more than a few embarrassing moments.